It has been almost a year since the world has been experiencing the worst economic crisis in decades. Car sales, along with everything else, have plunged, and the employment future of thousands lies on the edge of uncertainty.

Thus, to stay afloat, automakers have had to re-invent themselves — some already on the ball (Audi) and others still pulling facades (GM) — or increase (narrow?) their appeal to the few on this planet unaffected by downturns and depressions, and it clearly shows at the 2009 Canadian International Autoshow in Toronto.

This automotively-exciting day began for me waiting in line at the Metro Convention Centre, South Building — where all the best automakers were. When 10:30 finally rolled by and the autoshow was officially open, my friend and I dashed over to the Italians and the Brits. We were there so quickly, however, that the Ferraris were not yet unveiled; we thus contented ourselves with Maseratis, Rolls-Royce, Aston Martins, Lamborghinis, Jaguars, and the brand-new Hyundai Genesis until the Ferrari guy finally did his job. We were very happy to see that the layout of the supercars was nice and open this year enabling everyone to take pictures simultaneously from all corners, unlike last year where it was very crowded and limited.

Eventually, we migrated over to GM, whereupon I realized that I totally forgot my beloved Audis and booked over there, spending over an hour in that modest autoshow space. Then we hit up the MC North Building, and Skydome (sorry, Rogers Centre) and called it another successful year.

Continue reading for the best and worst, and most and least exciting features of the 2009 Autoshow (with a bonus section on Audi)! Click on all of the links for hi-res pictures.

(Click below to jump to a section!)

This Year’s Winners

This Year’s Failures

This Year’s Eye-Openers

My Personal Non-Audi Faves

AUDI

This Year’s Winners:

1. The Canadian Car Of The Year/North American Car Of The Year: The Hyundai Genesis. Given the hype, I think it’s very cheeky that they displayed a DUB edition of the new luxury car that’s got the Germans and Japanese all riled up.
2. The Chevrolet Corvette ZRI is quite possibly the only reason I’ll cry when GM goes belly-up. I prefer it in the carbon grey as last year’s, but yellow is still quite in-your-face-and-you-can’t-do-nothin’-’bout-it and I love it. The glass window on the hood for bragging rights is pretty awesome, too.
3. BMW + MINI for their creative advertising…after all, it’s not like you wouldn’t notice it as you’re sitting in the plush leather racing seats of the John Cooper Works MINI or the M3! [Click here for other cool Mini ads.]
4. BMW Diesel: German diesel is always win. Audi…hurry up already, please, smart North Americans are waiting.
5. You know something’s really wrong when you briskly pass by the giant Ford section with nothing but distaste in your mouth, interested instead of what KIA has to offer. The real question is whether Ford (no SHO) failed epically and/or KIA won epically, or both. The KIA Soul is full of poise and imagination, as well as versatility — there was a modded version as well as an equally cool hybrid. The Koup concept even provoked desires of want (for a KIA!), with the front of a Civic and the rear of an RSX but blended beautifully to form a stylish little racer.
6. Honda earned my vote for the best booth layout: everything from the promotion of “vital Honda aspects” to the colour options on all models (in the shape of each model!) was meticulously detailed to perfection. Definitely a win even if their concept FCSport is a big WTF!
7. Subaru, just on the other side of Honda and not about to be outdone, had their own little — or should I say large? — attraction: BYAMBA the Sumo Wresmodeler! Everyone was invited to take their very own (autographed) picture with Byamba and the Subaru Forrester he’s famous for featuring.
8. Infiniti has redeemed themselves this year; when I sat in a G35X last year, the interior felt very shabby, but the 2009 G35X interior has all the quality finish one would expect the upscale-Nissan brand to have.

AUTOSHOW WINNER OF THE YEAR: Buckley’s! Yes, Buckley’s as in the cough syrup that tastes awful, but works. At the Skydome, around the ring at the top, there are many different companies and organizations with booths, from car modders to universities to merchandise shops to even dental hygiene trials. While we were casually browsing, I noticed that my throat was really hurting from an illness I caught last night. Well Buckley’s was the gift from God, because not only did I get a free sample that worked instantly (it doesn’t even taste that gross! Not when you’re dying for cough syrup anyway), but I got what is possibly the COOLEST spoon ever.

This Year’s Failures:

1. With a looming mass of baby-boomers being eligible for Seniors’ Tuesdays, clearly automakers want to hog a slice of the elderly pie. BMW’s new 7-Series is not grand, it’s bloated. And slapping light beige paint on it does nothing but diminish any speculation of BMW-performance, while beating Mercedes at their own game of old-people-rides.
2. Speaking of Mercedes, while they’ve gotten some thumbs up (see: Eye-Openers below), they’ve incurred a TRIPLE fail with their new GLK-Class. First, it’s a puny SUV, if we can even call it that; I don’t believe in the need of SUVs for urban/Soccer Mom use, and rural users would need something with a better height clearance (not to mention wanting to avoid the image of the loser kid brother who tags along). Second, it looks like a KIA Sportage or past-gen Mazda Tribute! Lastly, even the text on the big sign was plastered crookedly. “Buy it for looks. The ones you’re inevitably going to get.” What they forgot to include after was, “For being a complete poser and a tool.” Oh, and the one poster I picked up this year was, you guessed it, of the GLK 350. I threw up a little in my mouth.
3. Jalopnik was right; Toyota truly is boring. My gosh, they didn’t have any 2010 models (the ones that even the Detroit show got), their space layout was as plain as vanilla, and their feature vehicle was the new Toyota Prius, loaded with even more tree-hugger flavour (that’s not a compliment) and wheels made literally from the plastic of your pencil sharpener. Someone please switch the visual designers of the Chevy Volt with the Prius  idiots.
4. The M3 Saloon is by far my favourite Bimmer, and the nifty dual-clutch tranny makes it so much better. All was well during the chat with the BMW salesman until he uttered the words, “Yes, the only reason why the S4 was selling so well was because we didn’t have a four-door M3. Now that we’ve got it, Audi is pretty much dead.” I will say here what I didn’t have the balls to say then: “Apologies, sir, but you can go straight to hell!”
5. Some cars are better after modifications. Some are not. Like the BMW 1-Series Convertible with a bodykit and rims, which still looks like a wannabe-Bavarian for Californian girls. And the Brabus 10th Anniversary Canadian Edition (complete with a red maple-leaf dots on the “i”s) Smart Car, which makes the Smart look badass until you think to yourself…why trick-out a Smart, of all cars? That said, it’s still better than the “souped-up” Kia Spectra I saw in the official KIA section.
6. There was a guy selling Crockpots and toaster ovens. At a carshow.
7. Porsche? Where did you go? [Update: Oh...] Not only did my fear of being stiffed of a poster come true, but the entire lineup went completely AWOL. Disappointing shame. Porsche and VW (who cheaped out on their normally-nifty merch by offering the same blue recycled-plastic Touraeg pen holder)…I’m going to go on a limb (and pray in gratitude) and say that you guys spent the entire autoshow budget on Audi.
8. Today, I saw automotive ghosts. You didn’t really think that after a year of constantly making the case against GM and the Big Three that I’d let them off, did you? No, I saved the worst for last. Clearly, the Yankee automakers have been working overtime to totally overcome their decades-old difficulties in three measly months. But all I’ve seen is a major case of selling-out for the “green” bandwagon. Many of the GM cars at the autoshow were slapped with a “green by design” sticker or license plate, including the Cadillac Escalade and the GMC Sierra SLT going hybrid. “Wait, what?” That’s right, the preferred vehicle of choice for ballin’ hip-hop stars and Compensating D-bags (which, I must admit, has a cool Hybrid logo), and the preferred vehicle of choice for…the dudes who like their trucks to be X-TREME! have been downgraded to a level as soft as cotton fluff. That’s like Dr. Dre omitting any foul language from his next album, when it finally comes out. Escalade buyers don’t care about the fuel efficiency, and a Sierra SLT buyers haul dirt bikes with lawn-motor engines. By trying to broaden consumer appeal, GM will probably erode the solid base they’ve worked hard to establish. Chrysler was also caught red-handed; on the back of a blue Charger (arguably NOT a hippie car), there was a green-leaf sticker proudly proclaiming “OVER 30mpg” fuel efficiency. What they neglected to mention was that you can only achieve said possible efficiency when driving on the highway. So make sure you float in midair to the closest autobahn before turning on your Charger, assuming its tranny doesn’t collapse before then.

AUTOSHOW FAILURE OF THE YEAR: The “Green” Hummer H2. This failure oozes with so much fail that I had to give it its own point, despite being on the same topic as my last. You think a Hybrid Escalade is bad? Try a Hummer H2, the environmentalist’s nemsis, with a “Green By Design” license plate. Half wtf-ing and half laughing to myself, I walked over to the specs list and noticed that this supposedly-green Hummer had a fuel consumption of NA/100kms, or NAmpg for you Americans (be ashamed that your tax dollars paid for this). They say a picture is worth a thousand words…of fail. I just showed you three.

This Year’s Eye-Openers:

1. Did you know that the hoods on Smart cars open like this? Me neither.
2. There’s nothing wrong with this MINI Cooper S that you can see. But minutes before I snapped this shot, some kid was sitting inside trashing the tranny as hard as he could. I don’t think he was even clutching. Don’t ever buy demo cars!
3. Audi and Nissan injected some old-school vintageness, displaying the Audi Quattro Sport and an old Datsun, both race cars, beside the R8 and GT-R…both supercars.
4. Mercedes had an excellent AMG section, and I got to sit in Jeremy Clarkson’s fave C63 AMG for the first time. My friend popped the GPS nav, and looking at the last destination we discovered it was from Orillia. What the hell was such a beast of a saloon doing in Orillia, of all places? Oh, and the SL65 Black Series was very badass, too.
5. The SLR 722S was a spectacular sight. Having seen and touched a regular SLR in West Vancouver last summer at a dealership (it was just sitting out in the open!), the 722S brings back fond memories and creates amazing new ones. I love that they opened all the doors and gave us a great look of all angles.
6. Remember how I raved about the new concept Camaro’s speedometer last year? It’s still pretty awesome.
7. This Ford F-150 truck had built-in shelves and storage for tools. I thought it was for hot dogs. And I was really hungry (didn’t have time for lunch until after the show), so I really liked this hot dog truck at the time.
8. The Ford F-150 Raptor SVT. Why is Michael Bay still fooling around with stupid GM for Autobots?? (Disclaimer: I hope there is no sequel after Transformers 2, because I want to see the R8 Decepticon kick the living shit out of every punk Autobot.)

AUTOSHOW EYE-OPENER OF THE YEAR: The new Mazda3. You either really love-it or hate-it be-horrified-by-it. Whoever said that ever since Pixar released Cars, nothing has been the same again is spot on; the 3 is a coked-out monster that’s way too happy to chop you up into pieces then snort more lines off your frozen limbs. I’ll admit it, it really creeps me out like a Hannibal of cars.

My Personal Non-Audi Faves:

1. The Ferrari F430 16M Scuderia Spider: those Italians never fail to shock and surprise.
2. The Nissan GT-R deserves a permanent spot on this list, being my second most-coveted car after the Audis. Maybe this model features an updated launch control system that doesn’t bring Godzilla down to his knees?
3. James Bond dropped off his Aston Martin DBS at the Canadian autoshow, thinking it was valet parking. It. Is. Intimidatingly. Astonishing.
4. AutoTrader.ca had a really fun “Jar of Cars” contest; after signing up, and going through a quick demo of the AutoTrade site, you’re challenged to correctly determine the exact number of die-cast models in the tall, clear cylinder, in order to win the grand prize of a year’s lease of the new Hyundai Genesis coupe. Pretty awesome. My guess was in the late-600s. I wonder where/how they got so many little cars!
5. I actually found my favourite minutes after entering the autoshow show in the morning, thanks to my trusty $100 eBay Cybershot. An artist was sketching the white Gallardo Spyder, and I snapped a picture of him in front of the Lamborghini; in my hastiness, I probably didn’t allow enough time for my camera to automatically adjust aperture, so the supercar appears to have an aura. Click here for a heavily-edited version that accentuates the Lambo’s angelic looks combined with devilish performance.

AUDI:

Okay. You’ve made it through 2000+ words of my review. Now it’s time for the true highlights of the autoshow…

1. Progress is beautiful. The LED lights are brilliant. Further, the LED lights that actually save you fuel is even more brilliant. I’ve heard it all. And now, I’ve finally got my hands on one. The all-new Audi A4, shown here as a 2.0T model.
2. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Because a bit behind the A4 was its evil-twin, the Audi S4. No words necessary, only pictures.
3. And then you have the big brother…the absolutely beast-of-a-machine Audi R8 5.2-litre V10. I was quite lucky because the Audi staff popped the engine hood for some media types to view, and I was right behind them snapping away at exclusive views. The light blue paint job wasn’t my favourite, but if someone were to give me nothing but a blue R8 V10 I would accept in under a heartbeat.
4. If I can’t go for a saloon or a supercar, then give me a vicious coupé. Like the Audi S5. Again, I wasn’t too find of the bland silver, but beggars can’t be choosers!
5. It was at this point I discovered the secret to the reason why for a decade I’ve always loved Audis at autoshows due to their available power, enabling you to turn on the high beams for awesome photos and music to soothe your mind as you relax in ultra-luxury: there is a battery-motor connected to the car that plugs into the floor!
6. Have you ever seen the Audi Q5 ad? It’s cute and very creative. To go with the theme, I presume, Audi had ads around the buildings for the Q5 in the shape of a plain ol’ box, with the words on the side “Don’t buy another box”! Not only does Audi produce fantastic cars, but they’re also kings in the marketing department.
7. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve written very little overall in this Audi section. Probably because I am so captivated…by…lights…and…beauty…

I guess nothing’s changed much from last year with regards to Audi!

Thanks for reading my review full of rambles of the 2009 Canadian International Autoshow. Come back next year, hopefully when the RS4 will arrive to snatch me away to Audi heaven!