BREA, Calif., [April 28, 2008] – Establishing an auto industry first, and packing even more appeal into its bold and stylish sport compact, American Suzuki Motor Corp. today announced the addition of a fully integrated standard navigation system to the 2009 Suzuki SX4. The company’s offering marks the first time a new vehicle under $16,000 will include navigation as a standard feature. The innovative navigation system will be included as standard equipment on both the four-door SX4 Sport and front-wheel-drive version of the five-door SX4 Crossover, propelling the 2009 SX4 to the front of the compact segment as the personal technology leader. [Report]

I consider myself a true driver. A pedal purist. An old-school operator of a moving vehicle. Whatever you want to call me.

Names may change, but traditions won’t, and/or shouldn’t. If you can’t park by yourself, maybe you should consider public transit. And quit being lazy, take advantage of your bodily functions and open car doors with your arms. Get lost going from Point A to Point B? Learn to read a damn map.

You know…that thickish sheet of paper that has all these crazy lines and road-sign-looking symbols everywhere in different colours, and lists all these cities and towns very similar to where they’re located in real life? No? Hmm…check your glove compartment. Still negative? Okay, forget it. Just bring your checkbook or plastic over to Suzuki, and fork out only sixteen grand for a ride with standard GPS navigation!

That’s right, be mindless idiots. (Can you taste my disappointment yet?)

I’ve always been an opponent of GPS nav in cars. Why must we encourage such laziness? Technological advancements are great, but not if they promote human regressiveness. I’m not even going to pull the “GPS horror stories” card, you can Google that yourself if you haven’t heard; I’m just going to point out that being a GOOD driver requires one to be constantly alert and analyzing situation after situation on the road. Not only is fooling around with a touchscreen in the middle of the dashboard distracting, but having a computer tell you — the person behind the wheel of a multi-ton vehicle — where to drive is dangerous. You have a brain of your own, use it to read road signs and memorize directions. And if you can’t do that, you probably don’t even deserve the shotgun seat.

But now, just like with power windows, A/C, and DVD players (which are equally stupid because if your kid can’t entertain him/herself for the 15 minutes it takes to get to school, you need Parenting 101 classes), GPS navigation will become standard on all decent vehicles. Just when I thought I’d seen the worst of the worse (Disappointments #5), automakers trump me with a brand new low. Such a shame…shame that real drivers are a rare breed on the road now.