First off, excuse the borderline-offensive language. But there just isn’t another way to put it. This will be quite an angry rant.

I came home tonight to find mail (sent out to all constituents) from my federal MP; let me tell you that he’s a pretty conservative guy, hated by many people. You’d think that a representative from the rightest national political party (not including stupid fascist parties) would not be affected by “leftist ‘politically correct’ bullshit” about neutral holiday greetings, right? WRONG. I opened the envelope to find a nice picture of him and his loving family on the cover what I thought to be a nice Christmas card, except that on the inside were the words “SEASON’S GREETINGS” instead of the proper “Merry Christmas”.

Now, let me make it clear that I don’t care what religion you follow, or if you even believe in anything. Some people claim that a “war on Christmas” by “politically-correct, [perhaps] anti-religious/anti-Christian” people is unsubstantiated propaganda by the Right; I used be somewhat of a skeptic as well, but I don’t know anymore. It’s true that many stores and establishments continue to (rightfully, in my opinion) openly celebrate this season the Christmas way, but now the very people we elect to represent us won’t even wish us properly? It downright offends me. People who complain about public displays and celebrations of Christmas are, to be blunt, narrow-minded jackasses. If you don’t like Christmas, then why are you taking the holiday from work (not to mention the generous extra-pay offered if you do), why are you purchasing gifts and presents? Oh right, because you’re a hypocrite. I, along with other normal people, don’t get offended if someone wishes me a Happy Chanukah or a Happy Eid, but rather I thank them with a smile and wish them back the same; NO ONE should get offended when someone wishes you JOY. We’re not forcing our religion on you, we’re merely sharing our happiness with everyone else, and if you have a problem with that then you should cut yourself, but you probably already do regardless of what holiday is being celebrated.

On the other hand, pro-Christmas people have every right to be offended when someone says “season’s greetings”. Disregarding the fact that it is such an inane phrase (I don’t hear anyone wishing each other “season’s greetings” during the summer, do you?), Christmas IS a solid part of the winter season, it’s ingrained in our culture and society. For someone to change centuries’ worth of tradition that seeks only to make people happy is total crap.

Even if you’re Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Scientologist (I mock you), etc. etc., why should you be an ass and take offense for when we give none? If you’re so bent on making public displays of YOUR religious holidays on your house, in your store, or wherever, go ahead and do it, no one’s stopping you, and SURELY no one’s complaining about it.

So for all of us who do celebrate Christmas, man up and cheerfully wish people merry Christmases from the heart; you have nothing to be ashamed of, and people who don’t want joy wished on them need help anyway, so pray for them. For everyone else who doesn’t celebrate Christmas, there’s never anything wrong with wishing it on people nonetheless, or even wishing a general “happy holidays”; it’s the thought that counts. And for the small minority who’s anti-Christmas, you can go screw yourselves harder than the time you try to screw a fast food chain for making you fat, or a coffee shop for burning your tongue with a multi-million dollar lawsuit; I know you’re all the same people. No one likes you for causing trouble when the rest of us are trying to enjoy this season of joy called Christmas. Just about everyone I know enjoys presents and festive dinners and joyful Christmas music, and many of them don’t celebrate Christianity like I do, so it’s solid fact that you’re just out to ruin it for everybody.

And I’m not even going to wade into the whole issue of Christmas being more about shopping than celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ (“Christmas”, “Christ”…notice the similarities? Hmm…) and sharing joy and love with family, friends, and neighbours. That is one thing truly offensive to Christians. But one angry rant is good enough for the day.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL, AND I MEAN IT EVEN IF YOU’RE A DOUCHE!!!