I’m proud of all the great things my country has to offer. But one thing stands out in particular: SNOW. It’s what we’re known for, despite the fact that Toronto doesn’t actually get that much. It’s a proven fact that we freak out about it nonetheless, confirmed by native Torontonians (me one of them) and non-Torontonians alike. But since we’re a big city and fairly crowded (not really in comparison), we tend to have low tolerance for inconveniences, especially weather-related ones, and we like to moan and complain a lot.

Not to mention the fact that we can’t drive for SHIT (excuse the language, but there really isn’t another word to express such an opinion) at the first sign of a snowflake, let alone rainstorms. Seriously, it’s absolutely unbelievable how some of us conduct a multi-ton vehicle in solidified water. So before another huge snowstorm hits Southern Ontario (or anywhere in the world, really) — hopefully a bigger one because snow is AWESOME and as proud Canadians we should truly appreciate it (rather than bitch about winter in general and dream about warm climates — it’s called “winter WONDERLAND” for a damn good reason!) — I’ll dish out some advice on driving PROPERLY in snow, with the usual Angry Chinese Driver twist.

1. PROPER SPEED. Okay, I understand if you’re not exactly the best driver in the world, ranking amongst drivers like yours truly, and I understand if “bad” (I call it GOOD) weather scares you; but driving at 20-30km/h is TOO SLOW, and possibly dangerous for all the cars that have to manoeuvre around you! I’ll admit that half the time I went OVER the speed limit still, because I had full control of my vehicle and there was relatively no traffic around me, but it doesn’t mean that you should drive slower than the traffic around you. Trust me, your car’s not gonna totally spin out of control just by going a bit faster like everyone else (and if it does, I suggest you cut up your driver’s license).
2. STAY IN YOUR DAMN LANE. It frustrates me when I’m driving at 50km/h, and there’s a line of noobs in front of me going 40km/h. In the MIDDLE of the two lanes of the road in our direction. My mom reasoned with me that they might be doing so because they don’t want people to pass them; true enough, but screw that! I have places to go, and despite my love for driving, I don’t want to spend my day following snails! Stick to your side of the road, if you can manage that, don’t worry about me because I for sure am not stupid enough to lose control of my car and side-swipe you!
3. HANDBRAKE IS KEY. Fishtailing slightly? Use your trusty handbrake, it ain’t there for nothin’. And obviously, when you pull the handbrake, you have to counter-steer to formulate a decent drift. But then again, I’m posting driving tips for n00bs right now, so I wouldn’t suggest actually drifting. Though it is more fun than anything, and the main reason why I’m so in love with snow. Empty parking lot + parents’ car? PARADISE.

And there you have it. Three (more like two) simple tips to driving in stuff that we get for months but most people don’t get to see in a lifetime. It really isn’t that hard; yes, it’s slippery and sometimes difficult, but panicking and driving like you fear for your life is only going to lead to one thing: accidents. Keeping a cool head and steady control gives you a safe drive, and also some room to enjoy spinning around with the hand brake pulled, spraying snow from your tires, and carving up large snow-covered lots!

*Pic to be added when I have time to open up MS Paint. It’s 3:15 in the morning, I’m friggin’ tired.*