A few weeks ago, the folks over at Motor Authority reported that Toyota decided on a common “theme” for its upcoming hybrids. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for cars that use alternative fuel sources (ie. hybrids); we need to seriously start taking action on conservation and protection of our beautiful planet (plus, it’s annoying constantly getting pollution drifted up from the U.S.). But there’s no way in hell that I’d go around town driving some kind of bubble or weird un-car-like-shaped vehicle. Just check out the following hybrid designs from various automakers:

TOYOTA

HONDA

SUBARU

MITSUBISHI

I think there’s something in the Japanese’s tea which gives them an idea that Earth-friendly vehicles should look like something from planet Jupiter. (And Americans, who follow the world-leading Japanese, drink the same tea in the hopes of gaining more insight.) I know there’s some in the enviro camp who think that “different”-looking cars are good because it makes them stand out in comparison with those “ozone-killing, global warming-denying, SUV-driving bastards”, but hey, being environmentally-friendly doesn’t make you a better human; it’s what you’re supposed to do. I don’t understand why designers can’t just stay on track and create cars that appeal to the masses, only that they cram a hybrid engine into the front rather than a regular gas-guzzling one. Seriously, how much street cred is one going to get driving around in a thing the shape of science projects gone wrong? I understand that hybrid or not, designers like to change things up and come up with shocking, eye-catching designs. But such designs are usually eye-candy, not eye-comedy.

As a future car buyer, I’m quite worried. Increasing reports of automakers installing hybrid engines into their new vehicles pleases and scares me at the same time. Toyota once did a good job of with this conversion, producing hybrid cars in current models, but it seems like they’ve gone haywire and there’s no turning back.

While cars are getting all screwed up, you ask, what’s happening to motorbikes? Well, the complete opposite…beautified hybrids. Can you believe what Suzuki came up with?

Okay, I’ll admit that there’s not that much to screw up aesthetically for a motorcycle, compared to a car. But still, this bike looks NICE! And it’s not fair at all, since bikers represent a fraction of their car-driving counterparts.

Maybe I should switch to bikes from now on. It seems like the better route to take, unless my goal is to look like a dork driving a hybrid car (which it isn’t, I assure you). Besides, bikes can get away from cops easier and faster.